Met an ESFP girl at work and could never have imagined girls like this existed. She had all the looks that I ever wanted in a chick. She had all the charm that I never thought a girl with her looks could have. She was always nice even if I was clingy and needy at times. I asked her out but with negative replies. I got tired and gave up. But for some reason I made one last attempt to flirt with her but she turned me down once again and I decided to never flirt with her again.
One day she put herself in a bad situation where she could have used my help. I just sat there and didn´t do anything to help her because I was still pissed but she managed to pull herself out of the situation anyway. Next week she fucked some douchebag and bragged about it in the dining room.
I met like 3 INTP chicks, and have been successful in getting know them, however I have the HUGEST crush on one of them. she's hot, and famous. but anyway...I got her number, and she sincerely complimented me (thanks to my base functions).
now I'm super nervous cuz she's not picking up her phone (I only tried calling once.)
she's so hot.
she's so beautiful.
she's so intelligent.
she's so sleepy, and lazy.
I love it.
I just wanna love her forever, until she explodes.
or something.
only time will tell.
ESFP dude.
(S.E.E. -the sensory subtype) (similar to Jim Carey, John Mayer, and the like)
Perfect. 2 ESFP guys either of which I would marry if one walked through my doorway--with a conversation or two out of the way (to clear up/make certain an issue here or there which might violate my values). Different life paths kept us from starting relationships.
1 other ESFP guy had very different beliefs about spirituality, so no for that one. Great to work with though. We cared for each other and felt great around each other.
1 New ESFP coworker female that gets along with me really well.She's considered the hot (but she doesn't dress in tight nor exposing clothes), powerful, and popular employee, but she's pretty free or independent (i.e. she doesn't talk for long periods of time). I'm the forever analyzing and improving the office processes, don't cross me, quirky one. We don't know each other well, but we had coinciding breaks and spent the entire time talking and truly enjoying it while the cubicles of coworkers around us were dead silent.
I'm an INTP girl, age 26. Since last year, I've been prepping to meet a good husband material so I can date 1-3 years, date another 1-3 years if needed, and get married before too late.
Don't see SEE guys that often, at least as of yet. And I found one SEE guy at my new workplace. I didn't think he was my dual at first though (due to having mistyped myself for the longest time-- as a INFP. I think it was because I've been pressured societally to be a stereotypical girl; plus me being an Ni subtype made it harder to type myself as a T).
Nonetheless, I was attracted to him anyhow since he fitted my other profiles. Extroverted, very socially smart, gregarious, energetic, good-natured, funny and silly in front of others. So I carefully flirted, we had a hot one night, I played cool, carefully planted things here and there, and he fell for me quickly thereafter.
Been dating since then; it's been about 4 months now, and it's been wonderful. The close psychological distance they talk about is REAL. And although it's only been 4 months, it feels so much longer than that.
I realize that SEE's (at least he) need a bit of an indirect push, because a lot of times they have a bit too fuzzy of an idea of what they want. For one example: I still don't really understand why I had to indirectly bring up clarifications for the relationship, when it was obvious that he was already more emotionally invested than I was. (My other times it was always the Extrovert guys).
Also SEE's can be seen as sexually promiscuous by INTP's, but I think it's just that SEE's like to go out and have fun, and some casual sex is more of a symptom, not necessarily the cause. And some SEE's might not be as promiscuous as they appear to be; it's just their free raw energy coming out. Although I saw some dangerous signs before we started dating (i.e. sensual dancing with a random girl at a bar after failing to get me to dance with him), I was pleasantly surprised to learn that he rarely slept around even though he loves to go out, get drunk and dance. I checked with him for any history of cheating. None. Good.
Things have been really good once we started dating. It's a great feeling to know that I can be myself comfortably around someone that I care and be loved so much for exactly who I am, and not having to trying to fit into their idea of a more typical girl.
I never cared for someone as much as I do for him, which is amazing. I've experienced different kinds of love, but they weren't nothing like how I feel about him now. I want to protect him, I want to help him realize his potential further, and I want to be a steady rock and a light in the dark for him in tough times.
I never thought I could give excessive compliments (excessive by the view of an INTP, but normal by average view) on a guy; now I tell him he looks good all the time, his food tastes great even they're mediocre, etc. And I'm not doing this for selfish reasons to please him; I'm doing it because I sincerely care about his feelings. And that means a lot to me.
Sometimes his overly emotional manners can be a bit too energy-consuming (example: he keeps calling me funny unicorn name and he expects me to respond by calling him his unicorn name in an enthusiastic/loving way), but that's what makes him him, and I like it that way :)
I'm not totally sure as of yet if this relationship will last till marriage and then till at our deathbeds, but I'm feeling good about this one. I might need to do some indirect pushes and pokes here and there. But that's fine. It actually helps me take a more active role in a relationship, compared to my past ones where I just let the extroverts handle a lot of things. Anyhow. We'll see how things go! : )
ILI (INTp Socionics/INTJ MBTI) here. 26 Male dating 32 Female SEE/ESFp/ESFP.
In the effort to relay as much information as possible, I will try to make this post as detail as possible. This is an informative post, and might be a bit too long for some. Please be advised.
There is a ying and yang effect in terms of the natural bond that we share, where it is almost effortless, but let me set some examples to illustrate this point home a bit. I am naturally quiet, sometimes on the verge of ignoring her talks or questions entirely, and she is fine with that -- to my surprise. I don't ignore her out of discontent or malicious feelings, but rather intuition (I just don't feel it's needed or right to talk at that moment, for whatever reason). She is also very interested in spiritual or abstract concepts, in fact she knows Socionics and duality theory better than I do -- which is a huge plus. Her talks on karma, past lives, and synchronnicities are just icing on the cake to me, but a big one. She wants to travel, she wants to explore the world and she wants a partner to do that with. I volunteer to be her partner in this adventure, where I can study online and get funding to go on adventures with her, she love this idea.
Now, about me: I am default nerd, but not quite the geeky kind like INTj/INTP/LII. I have a passion and motivation to learn how to ride a motorcycle, learn to use a gun, do martial art, go hunting -- if it's Se, you name it, I might do it, kind of attitude. I think this peaks her interest even more. There is no doubt that both our suggestive functions are more developed than the usual defaul types of our own, and I think this level of growth/maturity was very much needed for us to mingle as did. I am a studying psychologist/therapist, so being an ILI -- logical to a fault -- this might have been a saving grace in some ways or more. I usually take on the listener role, and I have built a very strong psychological profile of her, and have even asked the typical "therapy questions" to get a strong history check (therapy term for patient's past experiences or early childhood). I feel very prepare to handle any turbulence that might appear in the relationship. My method for organization or dealing with her neurotic behaviour (Grip) would be calm, socratic questioning method and understanding of the underlying issue. She has quite a bit of transference with me from her exes, and a few displacement defense on her end as well. I will try to keep the therapy terms to a minimum moving forward, as this is a Socionic post.
We have already move forward quite a bit via the emotional distance between us, expressing mutual interest in marrying one another and this is coming from a very authentic (without hyperbole) place. I'm sure she is not the type, nor am I the type, to express these things without authenticity and with caution. There is something about both of us together that lower each other defenses, which I believe is due to our strength and weakness balancing; where we ease each other's anxiety/insecurities in the lower, weaker functions. This safety naturally gives way to trust, relaxation and even happiness in feelings. A cocktail of feel good measures to entice the sexual increase in human beings naturally. Our infatuation is build on a very strong mutual offering between the individual, which see seems to brush off as "romance". I am very quiet, but if I did speak my mind, we could be in quick heat soon after.
My mouth is closed, my thoughts is wide awake. I don't tell her everything on my mind, even when she ask. These reasons are due to the natural skeptical, pragmatic and down right ugly pessimistic mindset that I possess. I might share a few things here and there to test the water, but it seems to be of danger more than good -- she takes what I say too seriously. My negative thoughts are not always absolute truth, they are most times hypothesis, and to take them as a truth is already a fallacy, fault or error -- which she seems to take pleasure in. Therefore, I am very careful with my words and using my more intuitive side, I gauge what can be said emotionally vs what can't with her.
She seems to have moments of boldness in Te mobilizing, and that is very interesting to me. She has a very Se-Te charge to her, almost mimicing the ENTJ (LIE) in a very typical fashion -- a commander. I always am puzzled at this change, she goes from soft/sweet to harsh/forceful, and it puts me in a dazzle of shock. I can't say that I am more submissive or ill prepare to handle her force or passive aggressiveness, since I think I handle it quite well. But, because it's coming from an overly compensate used of force/commanding energy, it always gives me a shiver or a feeling of uneasiness. I can only imagine how another type who is less emotionally strong would handle her aggressiveness, as I would have to think they would break under such condition. I do believe ILI and LII have quite powerful repression ability in our emotions, due to 4D Ti, but I'll leave that thought there. It would, however, make sense for the ILI to be pair with an SEE due to the ability to handle such strong force of aggressive energy from time to time. That is my 2 cent.
We are quite calm or quiet together, an almost zen like energy between us -- a synergy, if you will. She is quite still, but figidity in her own way (stretching). She is also very observant and empty minded in the sense of mindfulness and being fully present -- staring at trees, her surroundings and not having thoughts. If I am overthinking and distant, she is underthinking and present. It sometimes shock me how she doesnt think about the future too often, because I naturally do. My mind goes to the future almost habitually, planning and scheming; her minds go to the short-term present moment constantly, also planning and scheming. I am the future, she is the present.
I'll end this post with the caveat that I have never met anyone so easy to flow with or feel absolutely comfortable with. She has mention that she felt like she had known me for years, even though we have just known each other for a few months. There is just this absolute acceptance in each other, a balance of unity that is so perfectly smooth in measure; where I am overly pessimistic, she is overly optimistic. The impact of our encounter can be summarize in the fact that I have never consider marrying anyone less than 4 years of dating them or more, with her, 4 days was enough to pull the card and tell her I wanted to marry her -- to my excitement, she reciprocated with full contentment. We won't realistically get married anytime soon, but the energy of two newly wed is there, and a commitment to each other that might just last a lifetime, if not more. I will keep you guys updated from time to time and save this blog. Thanks for reading, and I hope the material above aids in whatever research you are trying to undertake. Godspeed fellow nerds.
Met an ESFP girl at work and could never have imagined girls like this existed. She had all the looks that I ever wanted in a chick. She had all the charm that I never thought a girl with her looks could have. She was always nice even if I was clingy and needy at times. I asked her out but with negative replies. I got tired and gave up. But for some reason I made one last attempt to flirt with her but she turned me down once again and I decided to never flirt with her again.
ReplyDeleteOne day she put herself in a bad situation where she could have used my help. I just sat there and didn´t do anything to help her because I was still pissed but she managed to pull herself out of the situation anyway. Next week she fucked some douchebag and bragged about it in the dining room.
I could have gotten heaven but got hell instead.
INTP
I met like 3 INTP chicks, and have been successful in getting know them, however I have the HUGEST crush on one of them. she's hot, and famous. but anyway...I got her number, and she sincerely complimented me (thanks to my base functions).
ReplyDeletenow I'm super nervous cuz she's not picking up her phone (I only tried calling once.)
she's so hot.
she's so beautiful.
she's so intelligent.
she's so sleepy, and lazy.
I love it.
I just wanna love her forever, until she explodes.
or something.
only time will tell.
ESFP dude.
(S.E.E. -the sensory subtype)
(similar to Jim Carey, John Mayer, and the like)
How do you know "John Mayer" is an SEE?
DeletePerfect. 2 ESFP guys either of which I would marry if one walked through my doorway--with a conversation or two out of the way (to clear up/make certain an issue here or there which might violate my values). Different life paths kept us from starting relationships.
ReplyDelete1 other ESFP guy had very different beliefs about spirituality, so no for that one. Great to work with though. We cared for each other and felt great around each other.
1 New ESFP coworker female that gets along with me really well.She's considered the hot (but she doesn't dress in tight nor exposing clothes), powerful, and popular employee, but she's pretty free or independent (i.e. she doesn't talk for long periods of time). I'm the forever analyzing and improving the office processes, don't cross me, quirky one. We don't know each other well, but we had coinciding breaks and spent the entire time talking and truly enjoying it while the cubicles of coworkers around us were dead silent.
-INTP ILI woman
I'm an INTP girl, age 26. Since last year, I've been prepping to meet a good husband material so I can date 1-3 years, date another 1-3 years if needed, and get married before too late.
ReplyDeleteDon't see SEE guys that often, at least as of yet. And I found one SEE guy at my new workplace. I didn't think he was my dual at first though (due to having mistyped myself for the longest time-- as a INFP. I think it was because I've been pressured societally to be a stereotypical girl; plus me being an Ni subtype made it harder to type myself as a T).
Nonetheless, I was attracted to him anyhow since he fitted my other profiles. Extroverted, very socially smart, gregarious, energetic, good-natured, funny and silly in front of others. So I carefully flirted, we had a hot one night, I played cool, carefully planted things here and there, and he fell for me quickly thereafter.
Been dating since then; it's been about 4 months now, and it's been wonderful. The close psychological distance they talk about is REAL. And although it's only been 4 months, it feels so much longer than that.
I realize that SEE's (at least he) need a bit of an indirect push, because a lot of times they have a bit too fuzzy of an idea of what they want. For one example: I still don't really understand why I had to indirectly bring up clarifications for the relationship, when it was obvious that he was already more emotionally invested than I was. (My other times it was always the Extrovert guys).
Also SEE's can be seen as sexually promiscuous by INTP's, but I think it's just that SEE's like to go out and have fun, and some casual sex is more of a symptom, not necessarily the cause. And some SEE's might not be as promiscuous as they appear to be; it's just their free raw energy coming out. Although I saw some dangerous signs before we started dating (i.e. sensual dancing with a random girl at a bar after failing to get me to dance with him), I was pleasantly surprised to learn that he rarely slept around even though he loves to go out, get drunk and dance. I checked with him for any history of cheating. None. Good.
Things have been really good once we started dating. It's a great feeling to know that I can be myself comfortably around someone that I care and be loved so much for exactly who I am, and not having to trying to fit into their idea of a more typical girl.
I never cared for someone as much as I do for him, which is amazing. I've experienced different kinds of love, but they weren't nothing like how I feel about him now. I want to protect him, I want to help him realize his potential further, and I want to be a steady rock and a light in the dark for him in tough times.
I never thought I could give excessive compliments (excessive by the view of an INTP, but normal by average view) on a guy; now I tell him he looks good all the time, his food tastes great even they're mediocre, etc. And I'm not doing this for selfish reasons to please him; I'm doing it because I sincerely care about his feelings. And that means a lot to me.
Sometimes his overly emotional manners can be a bit too energy-consuming (example: he keeps calling me funny unicorn name and he expects me to respond by calling him his unicorn name in an enthusiastic/loving way), but that's what makes him him, and I like it that way :)
I'm not totally sure as of yet if this relationship will last till marriage and then till at our deathbeds, but I'm feeling good about this one. I might need to do some indirect pushes and pokes here and there. But that's fine. It actually helps me take a more active role in a relationship, compared to my past ones where I just let the extroverts handle a lot of things. Anyhow. We'll see how things go! : )
- INTP ILI girl.
Never trust or waste your time on an ESFP
ReplyDeletetest
ReplyDeleteILI (INTp Socionics/INTJ MBTI) here. 26 Male dating 32 Female SEE/ESFp/ESFP.
ReplyDeleteIn the effort to relay as much information as possible, I will try to make this post as detail as possible. This is an informative post, and might be a bit too long for some. Please be advised.
There is a ying and yang effect in terms of the natural bond that we share, where it is almost effortless, but let me set some examples to illustrate this point home a bit. I am naturally quiet, sometimes on the verge of ignoring her talks or questions entirely, and she is fine with that -- to my surprise. I don't ignore her out of discontent or malicious feelings, but rather intuition (I just don't feel it's needed or right to talk at that moment, for whatever reason). She is also very interested in spiritual or abstract concepts, in fact she knows Socionics and duality theory better than I do -- which is a huge plus. Her talks on karma, past lives, and synchronnicities are just icing on the cake to me, but a big one. She wants to travel, she wants to explore the world and she wants a partner to do that with. I volunteer to be her partner in this adventure, where I can study online and get funding to go on adventures with her, she love this idea.
Now, about me: I am default nerd, but not quite the geeky kind like INTj/INTP/LII. I have a passion and motivation to learn how to ride a motorcycle, learn to use a gun, do martial art, go hunting -- if it's Se, you name it, I might do it, kind of attitude. I think this peaks her interest even more. There is no doubt that both our suggestive functions are more developed than the usual defaul types of our own, and I think this level of growth/maturity was very much needed for us to mingle as did. I am a studying psychologist/therapist, so being an ILI -- logical to a fault -- this might have been a saving grace in some ways or more. I usually take on the listener role, and I have built a very strong psychological profile of her, and have even asked the typical "therapy questions" to get a strong history check (therapy term for patient's past experiences or early childhood). I feel very prepare to handle any turbulence that might appear in the relationship. My method for organization or dealing with her neurotic behaviour (Grip) would be calm, socratic questioning method and understanding of the underlying issue. She has quite a bit of transference with me from her exes, and a few displacement defense on her end as well. I will try to keep the therapy terms to a minimum moving forward, as this is a Socionic post.
We have already move forward quite a bit via the emotional distance between us, expressing mutual interest in marrying one another and this is coming from a very authentic (without hyperbole) place. I'm sure she is not the type, nor am I the type, to express these things without authenticity and with caution. There is something about both of us together that lower each other defenses, which I believe is due to our strength and weakness balancing; where we ease each other's anxiety/insecurities in the lower, weaker functions. This safety naturally gives way to trust, relaxation and even happiness in feelings. A cocktail of feel good measures to entice the sexual increase in human beings naturally. Our infatuation is build on a very strong mutual offering between the individual, which see seems to brush off as "romance". I am very quiet, but if I did speak my mind, we could be in quick heat soon after.
DeleteMy mouth is closed, my thoughts is wide awake. I don't tell her everything on my mind, even when she ask. These reasons are due to the natural skeptical, pragmatic and down right ugly pessimistic mindset that I possess. I might share a few things here and there to test the water, but it seems to be of danger more than good -- she takes what I say too seriously. My negative thoughts are not always absolute truth, they are most times hypothesis, and to take them as a truth is already a fallacy, fault or error -- which she seems to take pleasure in. Therefore, I am very careful with my words and using my more intuitive side, I gauge what can be said emotionally vs what can't with her.
She seems to have moments of boldness in Te mobilizing, and that is very interesting to me. She has a very Se-Te charge to her, almost mimicing the ENTJ (LIE) in a very typical fashion -- a commander. I always am puzzled at this change, she goes from soft/sweet to harsh/forceful, and it puts me in a dazzle of shock. I can't say that I am more submissive or ill prepare to handle her force or passive aggressiveness, since I think I handle it quite well. But, because it's coming from an overly compensate used of force/commanding energy, it always gives me a shiver or a feeling of uneasiness. I can only imagine how another type who is less emotionally strong would handle her aggressiveness, as I would have to think they would break under such condition. I do believe ILI and LII have quite powerful repression ability in our emotions, due to 4D Ti, but I'll leave that thought there. It would, however, make sense for the ILI to be pair with an SEE due to the ability to handle such strong force of aggressive energy from time to time. That is my 2 cent.
We are quite calm or quiet together, an almost zen like energy between us -- a synergy, if you will. She is quite still, but figidity in her own way (stretching). She is also very observant and empty minded in the sense of mindfulness and being fully present -- staring at trees, her surroundings and not having thoughts. If I am overthinking and distant, she is underthinking and present. It sometimes shock me how she doesnt think about the future too often, because I naturally do. My mind goes to the future almost habitually, planning and scheming; her minds go to the short-term present moment constantly, also planning and scheming. I am the future, she is the present.
ReplyDeleteI'll end this post with the caveat that I have never met anyone so easy to flow with or feel absolutely comfortable with. She has mention that she felt like she had known me for years, even though we have just known each other for a few months. There is just this absolute acceptance in each other, a balance of unity that is so perfectly smooth in measure; where I am overly pessimistic, she is overly optimistic. The impact of our encounter can be summarize in the fact that I have never consider marrying anyone less than 4 years of dating them or more, with her, 4 days was enough to pull the card and tell her I wanted to marry her -- to my excitement, she reciprocated with full contentment. We won't realistically get married anytime soon, but the energy of two newly wed is there, and a commitment to each other that might just last a lifetime, if not more. I will keep you guys updated from time to time and save this blog. Thanks for reading, and I hope the material above aids in whatever research you are trying to undertake. Godspeed fellow nerds.
please note, due to word count limit, i had to paste the info in Independent Post > Reply (then error) > back to independent post.
ReplyDelete